College Roommate Contracts

How to Set Rules for Your Dorm Room or Campus Apartment

Oct 31, 2007 Naomi Rockler-Gladen

When it comes to college roommates, conflict is almost inevitable-- but you can minimize conflict by drawing up a roommate contract. Here are some ideas.

The college roommate experience is a difficult one for just about everybody. It's tough to share a small space with another person, especially when you're in a stressful college or university environment. And if you live in a dorm room with a total stranger, there's bound to be some conflict.

Along with practicing common sense roommate etiquette, one smart thing you can do to minimize conflict is to write a roommate contract. The concept is simple: you sit down with your roommate at the beginning of the semester, talk about "rules" to regulate behavior in your room or apartment, and put it all down on paper and sign. Compromise will almost certainly be necessary. Some colleges strongly encourage or require freshman to draw up roommate contracts and train the residence assistant to help.

So what should you include in a roommate contract? Here are some suggestions.

Start with the "no compromise" points

Although compromise is important in this situation, most people have a few issues they feel strongly about and don't want to compromise on those issues. For example, a roommate might object to overnight guests of the opposite sex. Another roommate might insist on quiet after 11 p.m. because of an early morning job. As long as your "no compromise" list is fairly short, there's nothing wrong with this approach. It's better that you know these things ahead of time than to find them out accidentally along the way (like when you have an overnight guest of the opposite sex).

Respect

This may be the most important category. Establish some rules about how you want to be treated. Some of these might include:

Politeness to each other in the room
Politeness to each other's guests
No talking about roommate problems with mutual friends or neighbors
No talking about each other on MySpace or Facebook
No sharing secrets you might find out about each other
Respect for each other's religious beliefs and practices

Noise

If there are times when you want the room or apartment to be quiet---for sleep, studying, prayer, or whatever--put this in your contract. Talk about how much you plan to use the room or apartment as a study area and how quiet you like the room to be when you study. If one roommate wants quiet study time and the other does not, set aside a certain number of quiet hours per week, and the quiet-loving roommate can study in the library at other times.

Cleanliness

If you live in an apartment, you can draw up specific rules about who is responsible for keeping which rooms clean. If you're in a dorm room, you can set up rules like "no clothes on the floor" or "all dirty dishes must be washed and put away."

Visitors

Roommates are entitled to bring visitors into their room or apartment, but it's important not to abuse this privilege. You might set some rules about overnight guests-- both the platonic kind and the romantic kind-- and establish how often they are welcome in the room. You might also set rules about the frequency of daytime guests, since you probably don't want your roommate's best friends to become unofficial residents. Rules about parties fall into this category as well.

Alcohol, drugs, and other substances you might need to ban

Discuss whether alcohol will be allowed in your apartment or room, and if so, how often and how much. This is especially important if one of the roommates is underage or if you live in a "dry" dorm because the presence of alcohol may get you in trouble. The same goes for illegal drugs, of course--- unless your roommate doesn't mind sharing the risk, don't have them around! Be sure to discuss other things you might not want around, like a pet or cleaning products that trigger your allergies.

Money

This is especially important if you live in an apartment are are sharing expenses such as rent, utilities, and food. Establish clearly who pays for what. Someone should be put in charge of actually paying the bills by mail or online.

Your stuff

These rules might be as simple as "stay out of my stuff and don't eat my food." However, you can set more lenient rules such as "you can use my plates as long as you clean them up" or "feel free to play my video games."

Best of luck with your roommate situation! Here are some thoughts on rooming with a stranger versus rooming with a friend and how to handle a roommate conflict.

The copyright of the article College Roommate Contracts in Campus Life is owned by Naomi Rockler-Gladen. Permission to republish College Roommate Contracts in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Set Rules about Cleaning Your Room or Apartment

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